Most of the 102 dateables in Date Everything are unattached when players first begin their playthrough, but a handful of them are already romantically involved. This is the case with Dirk and Harper, whose relationship is somewhat complicated, to say the least.
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How to Unlock the Attic Door in Date Everything
In order to get into the attic, Date Everything players will need to head down into the crawl space to find the key needed to unlock the attic door.
Harper thinks that Dirk has been sneaking around behind her back and still harbors feelings for her previous boyfriend, Chappy. As a result, the two of them are constantly at each other’s throats, providing Date Everything players with an opportunity to swoop in.
Where to Find Dirk, Clarence, and Harper in Date Everything
Players can meet Dirk and Harper by interacting with the laundry hamper in the laundry. Harper is the hamper itself, while Dirk is the personification of the dirty clothes inside it. Clarence is Dirk’s alter ego, but will only show up if and when players break Dirk and Harper up. Upon doing so, they’ll find Clarence by interacting with the clean clothes hanging in the bedroom closet.
How to Break Dirk and Harper Up
Players will need to break Dirk and Harper up before they can romance them. This can be achieved by choosing dialogue options that will make them angry with each other, or by highlighting how dysfunctional their relationship really is. That said, players should make sure to avoid responses that could lead to the pair working on their relationship or themselves. If all goes to plan, they’ll be able to romance Harper immediately after the pair split, and Dirk not long after.
Best Dirk and Harper Choices (Day 1)
- Don’t stop on my account.
- Bat-man?
- I hope I never run into you two again.
Best Dirk and Harper Choices (Day 2)
- You deserve so much better, girl.
- I’d love to help.
- Oh yeah… I was looking for that chapstick for ages.
- I didn’t know he was practically engaged… or a he.
- Why does he ignore you?
- I believe you.
- Leave him, obviously.
Best Dirk and Harper Choices (Day 3)
- That’s what happens when you cheat.
- You’re not going to start talking to me about your relationship, are you?
- You sound a little bitter…
- What’s this about you cheating with the Hanks…
- If she’s going to accuse you maybe you SHOULD cheat on her.
- So that’s where you get your good looks from.
- Why haven’t you seen her?
- What does all this psychobabble have to do with you and Harper?
Best Dirk and Harper Choices (Day 4)
Best Dirk and Harper Choices (Day 5)
- You two are toxic. Make a clean break.
- Relationships take work but it shouldn’t be THIS hard.
- I think you should be single for a while, actually.
- You need to take some time for yourself too, Dirk.
- It is definitely you and not me.
- It is fast… but I want you.
How to Romance Clarence / Dirk in Date Everything
After breaking up Dirk and Harper and sealing the deal with the latter, all that’s left to do is swoop in and romance Dirk / Clarence. To do so, players should head up to the bedroom and interact with the clean clothes hanging in the bedroom closet. Thankfully, the process for dating Clarence is relatively straightforward, with most of the hard work having already been done as part of the breakup phase. Players will just need to ask Clarence if he’s single and then agree to his proposal.
Best Clarence Choices
- You look just like Dirk…
- Are you seeing anyone now?
- Is it me?
- Does that mean you’re not single?
- Hell yeah.
Date Everything!
- Released
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June 17, 2025
- ESRB
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Mature 17+ // Sexual Themes, Use of Alcohol, Strong Language
- Developer(s)
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Sassy Chap Games